If you’ve led a women’s small group for any length of time, you’ve probably had one of those meetings. The discussion falls flat. One woman shares for twenty minutes without taking a breath. Another hasn’t attended in weeks. Someone asks a question you don’t know how to answer. You leave wondering, Am I even cut out for this? Take heart—you are not alone.
Leading a small group is one of the greatest joys in ministry, but it’s also one of the greatest opportunities for growth. Healthy groups aren’t made up of perfect people, and they aren’t led by perfect leaders. They’re made up of women who are learning to follow Jesus together, one conversation, one prayer, and one gathering at a time.
The apostle Paul reminded the believers in Colossae, “We proclaim him, warning and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ” (Col. 1:28). That’s the goal of every small group—not flawless meetings but growing disciples.
Here are a few common challenges every leader will eventually face and some biblical encouragement for navigating them. Here’s what to do when small group doesn’t go as planned.
When the Conversation Doesn’t Flow
Silence can feel awkward. You ask a discussion question, and everyone suddenly becomes fascinated with her coffee cup. Don’t mistake quiet for failure. Some women need time to process before they speak. Others are still deciding whether this group is a safe place for them to be honest. Relationships take time, and trust isn’t built in a single meeting.
Instead of rushing to fill every pause, allow a little silence. You may even say, “Let’s just think about this question” or “Take a minute to jot down how you would answer this question.” Let the silence be part of your time together. Then ask more specific questions, share your own response first, or invite everyone to look back at their answers or a particular verse together.
James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak.” Sometimes listening means allowing space for the Holy Spirit to work in hearts before words are spoken.
Check out these tips for how to get a small group talking!
When Women Stop Showing Up
Life gets busy. Families have schedules, work gets demanding, illnesses happen, and sometimes women simply feel overwhelmed. Remind women that Bible study is a “no judgement zone,” and they are always welcome, even if they’ve missed, gotten behind on Bible reading, or the dog ate their homework!
When someone misses several weeks, resist the temptation to assume she has lost interest. Instead, reach out with kindness. A simple text—“We missed you tonight. How can I pray for you?”—often communicates far more than you realize.
Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us not to neglect gathering together but to encourage one another. Sometimes your gentle encouragement is exactly what a weary woman needs to return. Lead with grace, not guilt.
When One Person Dominates the Discussion
Most groups have someone who is eager to contribute—and that’s a wonderful gift. Occasionally, though, one voice can unintentionally crowd out everyone else’s. As leaders, we’re called to disciple the whole group.
You can naturally invite others into the conversation by saying, “I’d love to hear from someone who hasn’t shared yet.” If needed, have a private conversation later with your more talkative friend, affirming her enthusiasm while explaining your desire for everyone to participate. Ask her to think about how she might help draw other women in the group out to help answer questions and contribute to the discussion.
Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 12 that the body of Christ has many members, and every member matters. Healthy discussion allows every woman the opportunity to share her voice—to encourage and be encouraged.
When Conversations Wander
One of the sweetest parts of small groups is that women begin sharing their lives. But occasionally those stories become distracting and off topic that leave little time for God’s Word. As the small group leader, your role isn’t to shut people down—it’s to gently guide them back.
To help redirect the discussion, you might say, “Thank you for sharing that. Let’s talk more after group because I’d love to hear the rest.” Or, “That is fascinating, but we only have a little bit of time left. Let’s come back to what this passage is teaching us before we run out of time.”
Second Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us that Scripture equips us for every good work. Personal stories have value, but God’s Word is what transforms hearts. Keep bringing the conversation back to the Bible and what God says.
When You Don’t Have All the Answers
Sooner or later, someone will ask a question that leaves you stumped. That’s not a leadership failure—it’s an opportunity to model humility. It’s perfectly OK to say, “That’s a great question. Let me study that this week, and we’ll come back to it.”
Proverbs 2:6 says, “For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Remember, your job isn’t to know everything. Your job is to faithfully point women to the One who does and to the Scripture where they can continue to find answers on their own.
When Women Are in Different Places Spiritually
Some women in your group may have walked with Christ for decades. Others may be opening the Bible for the very first time. That diversity is actually one of a small group’s greatest strengths. Celebrate spiritual growth instead of comparing spiritual maturity. Explain biblical terms when needed. Invite mature believers to encourage newer Christians. Be patient with questions.
Paul encouraged believers in Romans 15:1 to help carry one another’s weaknesses. That’s what healthy discipleship looks like—women helping women take their next step with Jesus.
When You’re Running on Empty
Perhaps the greatest challenge isn’t in your group — it’s in your own heart. Many leaders spend so much time preparing lessons, checking on those in their group, and praying for others that they slowly neglect their own time with the Lord and their own soul care.
Jesus reminded His disciples in John 15 to remain in Him—because apart from Him we do nothing.”
Your relationship with Christ is not simply preparation for leading; it is the source of your leadership. Make time to be with Him before you do something for Him. Share responsibilities when possible. Let others serve alongside you. Remember that Jesus is the Shepherd of your group—you are simply following His lead and pointing others to Him. You want to lead out of the overflow of what Jesus is doing in your life.
Galatians 6:9 offers this promise: “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.”
Faithfulness Over Perfection
Here’s the good news: God never asked you to lead a perfect small group. He asks you to be faithful. Faithful to open His Word. Faithful to pray. Faithful to love the women He’s entrusted to your care. Faithful to trust that the Holy Spirit is doing work that you cannot always see.
Some weeks you’ll leave encouraged. Other weeks you’ll wonder if anything happened at all. But remember what Isaiah 55:11 promises: God’s Word never returns empty. Every time you gather around Scripture, the Holy Spirit is at work, even when the results aren’t immediately visible.
So don’t lose heart. Keep welcoming. Keep listening. Keep pointing women to Jesus. As you do, you’ll discover that healthy small groups aren’t built because every meeting goes according to plan. They’re built because faithful leaders keep showing up, depending on Christ, and lovingly guiding women to grow together in Him. And that’s exactly the kind of leader God delights to use.
About Dr. Michelle R. Hicks
Dr. Michelle R. Hicks is the managing editor for Journey devotional magazine with Lifeway Women. Michelle served as a freelance writer, campus minister, and corporate chaplain before coming to Lifeway. She is a graduate of the University of North Texas and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Michelle has a deep hunger for God’s Word and wants others to discover the abundant life they can have with Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
