If you’re like me, you’ve probably been in a variety of small group scenarios that can either go one of two ways: women are hesitant to talk, or women talk too much! Every once in a while, we might find ourselves in the ideal small group—one where there is a good balance of discussion, coupled with real biblical depth and personal connection. It is in this type of environment where spiritual growth can take root, and real transformation flourishes.
As we delve into the topic of how to get our small groups to talk, I believe it is first important for us to ask the question, “What is the end goal of this small group?” Sometimes we can forget that what we’re hoping to see at the end of our time together in small groups is not just the transfer of information or Bible knowledge. What we really want to see is life transformation. How is Jesus changing each of us?
Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.
—Romans 12:2
With that goal in mind, we’ve got ten tips to help you guide your small groups toward more intentional, purposed discussion. If getting your group to start talking is a challenge, maybe some of these ideas will be helpful!
- Review and Prepare. The most important part of leading a successful small group is preparation. Make sure you have looked over the week’s lesson and Scripture passages. Highlight key questions or verses that stand out and be ready to direct the flow of discussion in a meaningful way.
- Build on the previous week’s session. A quick recap can help bridge the flow of the study and is always helpful, especially for those who may have missed the previous week. This keeps women engaged, even if they don’t feel like they are as prepared with their lesson.
- Know your group. Be familiar with the talkers, the quiet ones, and the spiritually deep thinkers. Anticipate how a question will hit a different way for each type of learner. And if a question seems to be confusing or not landing with the women, consider how to reframe it in a different way.
- Allow for silence. This is so hard to do! But this allows space for that person who is waiting to see if someone else will talk before they do. And if you have a woman who tends to dominate the discussion, be ready to jump in and pivot to another question or a follow-up.
- Listen well. Make sure to pay attention, hear the person’s answer and respond appropriately. As leaders, we can sometimes fall into the trap of partially listening while anticipating the next question instead of giving our full attention to the person sharing. This builds trust and lets the learner know that her response is valued and that she matters.
- Keep it interactive. Lean into dialogue style as opposed to lecture. Remind the women in your small group that you are learning along with them.
- Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading. This should be a no-brainer, but we can be guilty of focusing on getting through the questions instead of allowing for freedom of the Holy Spirit to move among the group. It’s important to be mindful of the fine line between forcing an answer and allowing the Spirit to lead. Recently, I was with my small group, and we were going through our discipleship questions together. One friend had been fairly quiet the whole time, but I sensed there was something she wanted to share. The Lord prompted me to extend a nudge and sure enough, she poured out what she had been holding in. It was so vulnerable, but the sweetest moment because we could all relate to exactly what she shared. The Lord was so kind to meet her there and let us participate in the process!
- Ask curious questions. I co-teach a high school girls small group, and recently our lesson was from Genesis 3, centering on Eve’s encounter with the serpent and her subsequent sin as a result. This passage has always fascinated me because sometimes we can read these familiar passages and not really think about the actual context in which these circumstances are occurring. So I asked the girls the same question I had wondered about myself a few years earlier, “what do you think the serpent really looked like?” I could tell they were not expecting that kind of question, but they jumped in with their responses, even to the point of reading Scripture further in the passage on their own to back up their answers. It was the most fun time of discussion because we know that God’s Word is never boring!
- Use the leader guide available with every Lifeway Women Bible study. Contained within each of the studies, there are resources available to enhance your small group experience. Isn’t that great?! Each study includes a link to download a free Leader Guide that will help walk you through every aspect of leading your small group. In fact, I highly recommend downloading this guide and using it before the study starts. There are so many helpful tools—from how to structure your group time, how to plan all the details, and a discussion guide that offers optional weekly questions to get your group talking before diving into the specific study questions for that week. This link can typically be found within the first few pages of the study or inside the back cover.
- Remember your why. Value each person’s effort and make sure to find ways to engage with each person every week. Pray and ask the Lord for His presence to be among your group and that He would cause this time to be filled with His Spirit. It’s about developing relationships with one another around the living Word of God and growing together along the way.
Small group leaders play such a vital role in the overall spiritual growth of the body of Christ. I love how Paul admonishes the church in Colossae—may this still be our encouragement today as we lead the small groups God places in our midst:
Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
—Colossians 3:16
About Shari Edwards
Shari has been active in Women’s Ministry leadership for over 25 years and is a Lifeway Women Trainer. She holds a BA in Journalism and Public Relations and serves as Women’s Ministry Network Coordinator for Arkansas Baptist Women. Shari is a wife of 37 years to her college sweetheart, mother of 3 sons and a beautiful daughter-in-law. She is also “Sibby” to 3 precious young granddaughters. She resides in North Little Rock, Arkansas, where she leads a moms group at her church and teaches a high school girls class. Shari loves to encourage women in their everyday and leadership lives, as well as through speaking and writing opportunities.
For more small group advice from Shari Edwards, check out her article on “10 Things to Pray for Your Small Group This Year.”
