Questions to Ask Your Mentor and Mentee | Walking Out a Fruitful Mentorship

Do you want a fruitful mentorship relationship, but struggle to know where to begin? Let’s take a look at a mentoring relationship in the Bible for some guidance. Plus, we’ve included some questions to ask your spiritual mentor or mentee that will open the door to vulnerable authenticity and steward spiritual growth.

Reflecting on Spiritual Mentoring Relationships

Recently, a sweet friend and I sat down to chat about mentorship. We have each had the privilege of being both a spiritual mentor and a mentee in different settings. Some of those experiences were more fruitful than others, and we wanted to dig into what the keys to rich growth were. We looked at ways to move the needle from casual conversations and surface-level communication to deep-rooted transparency. We both saw that the beauty of mentorship is that it is reciprocal and intentional. The mentor brings experience, and the mentee brings a vibrant desire to learn. Through vulnerable authenticity, both the mentor and the mentee are challenged to grow. 

So, how do we open the door to vulnerable authenticity?  How do we truly invite each other in as trusted stewards of the other’s spiritual growth? We agreed that making space for deep spiritual growth comes from asking important questions and following biblical examples. We gathered a list of questions to ask your spiritual mentor or mentee that truly probe into pruning and cultivating the growth we desire.

We wrapped this conversation in prayer. As we prayed, my mind went to so many beautiful relationships in the Bible where mentorship was lived out. I love the mentoring relationship between Barnabas and Paul because it is such a beautiful example of a mentorship season walked out faithfully. As we dig through Scripture, we see the growth and impact that comes from their relationship. Before we dive into questions for your spiritual mentor or mentee, let’s look at Paul and Barnabas’ mentoring relationship.

Things We Can Learn from Paul and Barnabas on Spiritual Mentoring Relationships

Be a Faithful Encourager 

Acts 4:36 tells us that Barnabas was actually a nickname the apostles had given a man named Joseph, meaning Son of Encouragement! The beauty of his character is described in Acts 11:23-24. In this passage, he was seen as an encourager who lived a life full of faith. What better way to step into mentorship than to be an encourager of biblical truth and a faithful walk with Jesus? We encourage each other by taking the time to fully appreciate where we see the Lord at work and celebrating that work. We also encourage one another by recognizing our struggles and praying through them together. As a mentor, be transparent about your own struggles, allowing your mentee to see your growth lived out.

Understand Each Other’s Testimony and Believe in God’s Sanctifying Hand 

Acts 9:27 shows us how Barnabas considered the life of Paul before his encounter with the Lord and saw only the transformation of the redeemed. Barnabas knew what Paul had been and what he had done. But more importantly, he saw what the Lord had done and what the Lord was continuing to do in and through Paul. Paul’s radical salvation would be a testimony to the nations for generations to come. He believed so fully in what the Lord would do that he persuaded the apostles to trust Paul’s dedication to their mission. Let us look for evidence of God’s redeeming grace in those the Lord has called us to steward.

Challenge Each Other in Spiritual Growth 

In Acts 11:25-26, we see Barnabas bringing Paul alongside him as he serves in ministry. Barnabas knew the impact Pauls’ ministry could have, and he pursued shoulder-to-shoulder ministry with him to show him the way. They walked in obedience together, heeding the call of the Holy Spirit. A mentor can demonstrate faithful obedience to the Lord’s calling and challenge the mentee in pursuing spiritual disciplines for a fruitful life.

Hold Each Other Accountable and Remain a Trusted Friend 

Paul and Barnabas ultimately had a disagreement in the direction of their ministry. Acts 15:36-40 tells of their disagreement and their separation. They had both grown in their faith and their ministries, and their season of mentorship came to a close. Barnabas felt led to continue mentoring John Mark, and Paul would go on to mentor others, including Timothy. A mentorship will run its course, and it is important to prayerfully consider when it is time to move to a new season. Though it may look different, you can and should remain dear sisters in Christ, praying for each other, encouraging each other and spurring each other on in faithful obedience. 

Questions to Ask Your Spiritual Mentor or Mentee for Fruitful Conversation

Questions to ask a spiritual mentee 

1. Tell me your story. Our stories are deeply personal and point to the beauty of our redemption through Christ. Openly sharing your testimony and inviting your mentee to do the same makes space for laying our hurts and hang-ups at the foot of the cross and seeing the Lord’s goodness. In sharing our stories, we build trust and gain a deeper context for where each person is spiritually. This also provides the ability to see common ground and compassion. 

2. How are you responding to the Lord’s work in your life? This is a great question to ask each time you meet. Encourage your mentee to reflect and share ways that she has seen the Lord work actively in her life and how she can respond in light of His work. This also provides an opportunity to express struggles and confession. Having an open and honest conversation about confession and repentance allows for true transparency and trust. Make confession and prayer a rhythm of your time together. 

Additional questions to consider 

3. What is your hope for our time together? 

4. How can I best serve you as a mentor? 

5. How do you prefer to communicate? 

6. What spiritual rhythms do you have in your life? 

7. Do you believe you are saved? (If not, present the gospel to her!) 

8. Have you seen God’s character displayed in your Bible reading? 

Questions to ask a spiritual mentor 

1. How have you seen the Lord at work in your life? Your mentor has had the opportunity to experience the provision and redemption of the Lord. Hearing a mentor reflect on specific ways the Lord has shaped her life demonstrates the faithfulness of the Lord. This can also highlight ways to walk in obedience.  

2. How do I discern if I am walking in obedience to what God has for me? Learning from the wisdom and experience of a mentor gives real-life examples that can help shape your ability to grow in discernment.  

Additional questions to consider 

3. How do I make time for the Lord? 

4. How do I pray? 

5. What spiritual practices have made the biggest impact on your life? 

6. How do you navigate temptation? 

7. How do you navigate hard seasons or seasons of doubt? 

8. How have you dealt with disappointment when it seems like God isn’t near? 

As you prayerfully step into a mentorship, we pray that you will find deep connections and authentic sisterhood. We pray this will be a season of exhorting each other in your walk with Jesus. Enjoy the beauty of a growing faith that is wrapped in biblical truth and faithful obedience. 

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Learn how you can take your mentorship beyond the coffee shop from Hunter Beless.  

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About Salina Kelley and Abigail Wilson

Salina Kelley is the women’s ministry coordinator for Lifeway Women. Within the church, she has served as an executive assistant to the head pastor, church planting leader, women’s ministry leader, and led support groups for single moms and foster families. She is a former foster parent and is a passionate advocate for the restoration of families through trauma-informed intervention and walking hand-in-hand with biological families to show them the love of Christ. Salina and her husband, David, have six awesome children and a wonderful daughter-in-love. In addition to her role as a mom and her work with Lifeway, she is currently pursuing a master’s degree in ministry to women from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary.

Abigail Wilson is a student of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary and Leavell College pursuing a BA in Theology and a MDiv in Christian Education. She currently works for the seminary as a Student Leader in the Prospective Student Service office and in Spiritual Formation and Student Life office. As a youth leader in her church, Abigail is passionate about discipleship for teen and college-age girls! In her free time, Abigail enjoys playing music, reading, and cooking.