What do we do when friendships are hard to find? When we’ve prayed and still feel alone? Text messages, email, and DMs make it easier than ever to contact people. Yet we crave deeper relationships. God graciously invited us into His family through Jesus. But adoption into God’s family doesn’t always guarantee deep and abiding friendships. This leaves many of us struggling with loneliness, even though we long and pray for community.
We Were Created for Relationships
We can see God’s design for us in the very beginning. He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him (Gen. 2:18).” This verse is often read with marriage in mind, but it also points to a broader truth: We were made for community. This reality is echoed throughout Scripture in God’s instructions for His people to love each other. We also know this intimately in our own hearts. Even introverts, like myself, want to be known and loved!
Two Examples of Friendship in Scripture
“When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship, and loved him as much as he loved himself.” 1 Samuel 18:1
“But Ruth replied: Don’t plead with me to abandon you or to return and not follow you. For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD punish me, and do so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.” Ruth 1:16-17
I’ve heard several teachings on Ruth and Naomi’s friendship at women’s conferences and in Bible studies. Our love for these stories reflects our natural desire for relationships. Reading them gives us hope of one day having a friend like Ruth. It’s why we read about Jonathan and David and inwardly think, I want that! Of course we do. We were created for it!
He’s Always Near and Working for Good
If you’ve ever found yourself without community, you know how it rubs against the way God made you. We experience grief when we don’t have friends to call. Seeing other people’s friendships reminds us of our empty tables. And we struggle to rejoice with others when we are hurting.
It’s not silly to feel sad when we can’t find friends. But even then, we can trust God’s promise to work all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28). The good He does in our long and uncomfortable seasons is often hidden from us. But He is always eager to teach us His nearness. This encourages us when we are asked to walk alone for a while.
“The LORD is near the brokenhearted; he saves those crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:18).
In this verse, we see God’s presence and desire to redeem (save) us when we are hurting. The Hebrew word for “brokenhearted” is shabar, meaning shattered into pieces. Dakka’, the word for “crushed,” is often used to describe contrition and literally means powder. When you feel broken into pieces and ground to dust, the Lord is with you.1
Psalm 34 is David’s testimony of God’s deliverance when he needed divine help. Of God’s faithfulness, David proclaims, “I sought the LORD, and he answered me and rescued me from all my fears. (Ps. 34:4).” What a comfort! David used his neediness as an invitation to turn to God; He ended up writing a psalm of praise! If you are enduring a season without friends, God can use it for good.
An Invitation to Deepen Friendship
In my early twenties, I suffered years of debilitating sickness. Most of my days, I’d ask for God’s help to endure until bedtime. Seizures tired my body. Sorrows burdened my mind. One afternoon, I texted several friends to share my weariness. In hopeful expectation, I wiped tears from my face and waited. My heart yearned for a response. No one answered.
Why, Lord, I sighed, as I tossed my phone aside in frustration. I opened my Bible, looking for hope. Before long, what I would’ve shared with my friends came out in prayer to God. He was closer than any human friend could ever come! While my friends were busy, I grasped the words of a hymn I’d been singing since my childhood:
“What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! … Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?”
We turn to the New Testament and see Jesus coming into a world full of brokenness and giving His life to redeem us. Our Savior said, “No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you (John 15:13-14).” Can we find a friend so faithful? We will always have a friend in Jesus. Sometimes this is most realized when seasons of loneliness move us towards intimate friendship with Jesus.
Draw Near to God as You Wait for Friends
Below are some ways you can practically turn to God as your Friend. Ask for His wisdom as you consider what God may be doing in your heart in this time.
1. Share Your Heart.
Don’t think of “saintly prayer” with tucked corners that hide your real emotions. If you are upset, tell Him. Real help comes when you honestly share your heart with God. What would you say if a close friend was on the other end of your call? Spend some time in the psalms for examples of honest prayer. (Try Psalm 6; 13.)
2. Be Curious.
God is intentional in every season. Be open to and curious about what He may want to do in you. Then, join Him in love. It might practically look like walking in forgiveness, growing in surrender, learning an attribute of God, turning from sin, focusing on intentional Bible study, and humbly serving others.
3. Learn from Jesus.
Jesus showed His love by selflessly giving of Himself for His friends. He died for us when we couldn’t offer Him anything in return. As you sit with Jesus, observe how He loved His friends. Let God develop you into a friend like Jesus. Is there anyone God wants you to befriend in your life? Keep your eyes open for who that might be.
Godly friendships are a blessing. Don’t stop asking God for them! When your heart aches, remember, you aren’t without the greatest Friend. Let seasons of loneliness be a time of growth and delight in your faithful Friend.
Learn more about becoming a better sister and friend in the Friends and Sisters Bible study by Lifeway Women.
Work Cited
1. “Psalm 34:18,” Strong’s H7665; Strong’s H1794, Blue Letter Bible, https://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/psa/34/18/t_conc_512018.
About Josephine D. Rose
Josephine D. Rose is a writer, teacher, and speaker with a background in psychology and biblical studies. She loves sharing God’s faithfulness through writing and teaching women and girls. Her Lifeway Girls study, Talking to God: A Bible Study on Prayer, was released in 2025. When she’s not writing or spending time with family, Josephine enjoys curling up with a good book and a cup of coffee.
