Many of us have read the articles and seen the statistics: women, especially younger women, are leaving the church. In a recent Lifeway Ministry Success webinar, we sat down with author, teacher, and speaker Jen Oshman to talk through why this is happening and how to re-engage women in the local church.
Why Women Are Leaving Church
Drawing from her research and interviews, Jen narrowed the reasons down to three things. The first is a lack of trust. Trust in institutions has fallen across the board, and the church has been affected by scandals, abuse, and church hurt. The second is that women are busy and burdened—juggling careers, children, activities, and often the care of aging parents. The third, and the one the panel spent the most time on, is that many women simply feel like they don’t belong. As Jen explained, women often tell her something like, “It feels like my church is for a different kind of woman,” whether the difference is work life, marital status, life stage, politics, or how they educate their children.
Amanda Mejias, Lifeway’s Girls Ministry Specialist, noted that these same dynamics affect young women and teen girls. Young women feel the weight of starting families and careers while wondering how to invest more when life has drained them. The jump from student ministry to women’s ministry can feel jarring, and teen girls are wrestling with questions of value and purpose. She observed that the girls who flourish are often the ones given space to serve and lead.
Helping Women Feel Seen
Jen once asked on Instagram how churches make women feel seen and valued, and she received hundreds of responses. A few themes rose to the top. Healthy brother-and-sister relationships between men and women mattered—women noticed when they were included in conversation and ministry rather than avoided. Visibility is important too: women being clearly present on Sunday mornings, on the website, and on staff mattered. Respondents also valued churches that recognized and removed barriers to belonging, such as offering Bible studies at times working women can attend, or accounting for moms of children with special needs or foster children.
Another recurring answer was that women feel valued when leadership seeks their input. Jen shared that her own church has a “Romans 16 board” of women who meet with the elders a few times a year to discuss mission, values, and direction. She and Amanda also pointed to the importance of discipleship—both speakers emphasized calling women higher and deeper and creating pathways for spiritual growth.
Rethinking Discipleship
The panel encouraged churches not to confine discipleship to a single program or curriculum. Amanda pointed back to Jesus’s model of “come and follow me”—inviting others to do life alongside us. Jen described her own efforts to integrate generations through personal invitation, asking older women to come alongside younger moms. Both noted that women sometimes disqualify themselves, assuming they have nothing to offer, when in fact their gifts and stories are needed.
Encouragement for Every Role
The speakers offered words for specific groups. To pastors, Jen reminded listeners that Jesus pursued women and that the New Testament is full of co-laboring relationships—Paul with Lydia, Peter with Tabitha, and the women named in Romans 16. To girls ministers, moms, and teachers, Amanda affirmed that God can use anyone, and that the fruit of pouring into the next generation is eternal even when unseen. To women’s ministry leaders, Jen offered three reminders: it is not a mistake that you are where you are, don’t compare your ministry to others, and redefine success as faithfulness. And to women in the pews, both Jen and Amanda encouraged laying down preferences, embracing the awkward, and—as Amanda put it—”putting your yes on the table.”
Practical Takeaways from the Q&A
In the closing Q&A, the panel suggested busy moms invite others into what they’re already doing, from meal prep to walks to Target pickups. For teaching Bible study skills, they recommended resources from Caroline Saunders, Kandi Gallaty, and Kelly Needham. On getting women to show up, Amanda advised asking women what they actually need and building a culture of invitation.
Jen Oshman’s Bible study Very Good: What the Bible Says About Being a Woman is available now, and the teen girls’ version, Created on Purpose, releases August 1. Read an excerpt from Very Good here.
Plus, view the full webinar on how to re-engage women in the local church below.
