All summer long, I grieved the imminent departure of our youngest daughter. Every family dinner, Sunday morning in church, and new memory made brought me to quiet tears as I prepared my heart for our coming empty nest. “Mom’s crying again” was on repeat.
My husband and I got her settled into her new home and flew back to ours. I had eight hours between that landing and hosting about 20 women of all ages in my home for my church’s women’s Bible study. My physical family dynamics were forever changed, but my spiritual family remained the same.
As we age, the demands on us of our older parents, siblings, children, and their children shift with every season. The shifts make us feel everything from disoriented to depressed to fully free and ready to do as we please. But even as our roles in our nuclear families evolve, our roles in our spiritual families do not.
OUR SPIRITUAL FAMILY
Once when Jesus was speaking to a crowd, His mother and brothers arrived and asked to speak to Him. He replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matt. 12:48–50).
Jesus’ words are radical: For the Christian, our primary family is our spiritual family. Our Lord calls us to identify with His people even above identifying with our family of origin. While this reorientation is counterintuitive and counter to our culture, it reveals God’s heart for His people: He made us family.
OUR ESSENTIAL ROLES IN OUR SPIRITUAL FAMILY
Recognizing this reorganization of God’s people — from physical offspring in Israel to spiritual offspring in the church — the New Testament calls Christians “brothers and sisters” 271 times, according to Paul Trebilco. In a communal culture, where people were known by their family and not their individual autonomy, this was huge. With the birth of the church, Jesus says we not only belong to Him, but we belong to each other.
Our Father created each of us with value and has given us an assignment in our local faith families (our local churches). According to Titus 2:2–3, “Older men are to be self-controlled, worthy of respect, sensible, and sound in faith, love, and endurance. In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good.”
Even as our roles in our nuclear families evolve, our roles in our spiritual families do not.
OUR GREATEST JOY
The apostle John wrote, “I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in truth” (3 John 4). John invested deeply in his spiritual family. He preached the gospel, discipled Christians, and served the church day in and day out. Even at the personal cost of persecution, from exile, John declared there was no greater joy than seeing his spiritual family follow Jesus.
In our flesh, we are tempted to prioritize our relatives above our church families. The joy and responsibilities we feel with our nuclear families can overshadow the call on us to be fully devoted to our faith families. May we pursue not just Him, but the family we have in Him.
You better believe I am counting down the days until all of my Oshman family is home together for summer break. But at the same time, there’s no greater joy than gathering with my spiritual family many times each week. We belong to Jesus, and we belong to each other.
This article originally appeared in the May 2026 edition of Mature Living Magazine.
About Very Good by Jen Oshman
Women today wonder if God is for them, if the Bible is for them, and if the church is for them. In Very Good, a 7-session Bible study by Jen Oshman, you’ll carefully study passages in the Old Testament, the Gospels, Acts, and Paul’s Letters to discover the truth of what God’s Word says about women. This study will unveil the joy it is to be a woman, created by God and living in step with Him and for His glory.
Read an excerpt from Very Good here.
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About Jen Oshman
Jen Oshman is an author, speaker, ministry leader, and sometimes-podcaster. Her passion is connecting what God’s Word says with who we are. She’s especially passionate about equipping women and girls to know who God made them to be!
Before returning to their home state of Colorado in late 2015, Jen served in full-time ministry with her family as missionaries and church planters in Japan and the Czech Republic. When they moved back to the US, they planted Redemption Parker in a suburb of Denver in early 2017. Her four daughters were born and raised on three different continents. The Oshmans love to travel, recreate recipes from all over the globe, and cheer for multiple countries whenever the Olympics are on.
![“Whatever He [God] did with the desires of my heart was secondary. Not that it didn’t matter, but that it was no longer ultimate. It was no longer what I was living for, and because of that, it no longer controlled me.” - Katie J. McCoy
Explore the connection between the timeless truths in Deuteronomy and life lived in faith and obedience to Jesus in this study by Katie J. McCoy.
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