A friend from college graduated and has become an accomplished engineer. Over the years, I watched her social media posts as she worked and traveled around the country and the world. One day, she began posting about her new hobby, quilting. Before me were pieces of art with beautiful patterns that made the most beautiful blankets. As I admired their beauty and pressed “like” on the photos, I did not realize that the beauty of those quilts did not happen without intention and persistent effort.
Like a beautiful, vibrant quilt, God desires diversity in our relationships as members of the body of Christ. Diversity in our friendships results in a beautiful display that brings Him honor and helps us in our spiritual growth. Clubs, organizations, sororities, and affinity groups provide opportunities to spend time with individuals that are like us culturally and generationally. While we tend to join groups with similarities that can bring us comfort, the reality is that God’s kingdom reflects great diversity. Revelation 7:9 provides a beautiful illustration of the diversity we will experience in eternity. Picture standing before the throne with “a vast multitude from every nation, tribe, people, and language, which no one could number (Rev. 7:9)” and ask yourself if your friendships reflect that beauty. If they do, teach other women to do the same. I invite you to consider some of the benefits and life rhythms that you can embrace to experience this beauty while on earth.
Cross-cultural Friendships
It was 1989, and I was a state officer for a high school organization. While attending one of our first meetings, I met a fellow officer named Jim who told me that he had never personally met a black person. I lived in a big city and Jim lived in a more rural town. He confessed to me that the only black people he had ever seen were on tv.
If I am being honest, becoming friends with Jim had its challenges. He thought I walked and talked funny. I struggled to have difficult conversations about jokes that he made that were not funny and that upset me. Over the next two years, we leaned in and pushed past the discomfort. We both changed, grew, and became better people. After serving together for two years, we built a beautiful friendship.
Cross-cultural friendships are worth the effort. They allow us to see the world from different perspectives. They challenge our biases and make us less self-centered. We are reminded that the world is bigger than us and we can become more empathic and aware of the needs of others. Ultimately, we become more Christ-like as we love and value people who are not like us but equally made in the Imago Dei, the image of God.
As you intentionally develop friendships across culture and race, know that there will be challenges. Have a willingness to compromise, forgive, and press through discomfort. Intentionally place yourself in more diverse spaces. Participate in community events that reach broader audiences. Shop in different parts of town. Just making eye contact and speaking to the people you pass every day allows you to connect with more people. Another way to encourage friendships is to invite women into small groups to do life together. This can include a fun night out, volunteering, ministry service, or dinners in your home.
Intergenerational Friendships
When I was a young woman, fresh out of college, I was blessed to know Mrs. Hale. She was the wife of the pastor that recently retired from our church. She was a calming, loving presence. Mrs. Hale was a witness of the beauty and grace of older age. She always looked beautiful. This taught me to be OK with gray hair and a few wrinkles. When she spoke, I always leaned in. One of the things she talked to me about was getting older. She shared what she was thinking as she reflected on her life. She also described how she was feeling physically. Mrs. Hale explained that at a certain age, the body is not what is used to be and that there comes a day when you realize that you have lived a good life and you are ready to meet the Lord for eternity. She told me that one day I would understand. Last December, as I held my mother’s hand while she took her last breath, I understood.
Now as a more seasoned woman, I am developing friendships with younger women, including my teenage daughter. Developing relationships with younger women requires letting go of personal preferences. The times are different, the clothes are different, and definitely, the music is different. Allow them to share what they love and allow them to make decisions. We should listen as much as we speak so that what we share is what they need. They do not need another lecture. Envision older women pouring into younger women’s lives in meaningful ways according to Titus 2:3-5. When we get to know and understand them, we can impart godly wisdom to support their spiritual growth and walk with the Lord.
I have been blessed by my experiences living alongside younger women. They are smart and witty. They love God and express it in beautifully creative ways. Everyone needs a younger woman in their life because they will not let you leave the house looking shabby, and they are fun to be around. I am spiritually blessed by their friendship as well. Every time a younger woman asks me a question, I am challenged to reexamine what I believe and why I do what I do. They help me separate God’s truth from personal preferences. They open my eyes to new ways to serve God and love people. Younger women have energy and stamina that encourage me to endure. And they help me learn the words to songs I cannot understand!
Spend an afternoon or evening and take inventory of your friendships and friend groups. Are you missing out on the joy of cross-cultural and intergenerational relationships? Ask the Lord to lead you to women you can befriend. Prayerfully and intentionally, seek to live out His kingdom on earth through meaningful, beautiful friendships.
For further learning, read this article by Alicia Wong on how to minister cross-culturally.
About Heather Johnson
Heather Johnson is an educator and Bible teacher. As a curriculum writer, conference speaker, and national trainer with Lifeway Women, she treasures every chance to share God’s Word and encourage others in Christ. Heather teaches the Bible at her home church and is a PhD senior resident at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. She also serves as the President’s wife at Louisiana Christian University in Pineville, Louisiana. There, she and her husband, Dr. Mark Johnson, count it a joy to pour into the lives of young adults daily. They are grateful parents of four and enjoy serving the church and making disciples. Connect with her on Instagram @hwjohnsonhw or at the Louisiana Christian University website.
