Perhaps the most famous verse on friendship throughout Scripture is Proverbs 17:17: “A friend loves at all times.” But today, I want to look at a passage that’s normally reserved for weddings, 1 Corinthians 13, and how we might apply that love to our friendships this year. How can we start the year by cultivating roots in friendship and faith?
Let’s dive into 1 Corinthians 13 to see how we can celebrate one another while pointing to the deeper bond we share in Christ.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.
— 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Love is patient
My grandmother was recently reading portions to me from the diary she kept when I was a year old. She wrote that if a prayer before a meal was going on longer than I wanted it to, I would start saying, “Amen, amen!” to try to get the person praying to wrap it up. Clearly, patience has never been my strong suit, but we see throughout Scripture that God is patient with us and He call us to be patient with each other. Patient is a fruit of the Spirit, so let’s seek to model that in our relationships by giving grace rather than succumbing to frustration.
Practice actively listening when your friend is talking, and do your best not to interrupt them verbally or nonverbally by checking your phone. We live in such a distracted world that it doesn’t seem out of the ordinary to check your phone while your friend is talking, but when someone can see that you are actively engaged with what she’s telling you rather than halfway listening, it builds trust in the relationship.
Love is kind
Practice encouraging one another. Branch out from the standard appearance-based compliments such as, “I love your shoes,” or “Your hair looks great!” There’s nothing wrong with these kinds of compliments if they’re in earnest—they can be a great confidence boost—but try to go deeper than only surface-level comments by looking at someone’s heart in an effort to be more like our Lord. Check out these purposeful habits to practice being an encourager!
Love does not envy
Celebrate one another’s wins. When your friend shares something exciting in her life, celebrate with her before immediately giving your own update. Ask God to give you a spirit of rejoicing and gratitude for your friend’s success. (Learn more about unique ways to celebrate your friends!)
Love is not boastful and is not arrogant
Think carefully about your words and with whom you share them. Make sure you are not speaking with exaggeration when telling your own stories and be mindful of the time and place to share your own victories.
Love is not rude
Speak with gentleness and seek to honor your friend even in a disagreement. Consider how your words will be received before speaking them. Try to choose language that is respectful and will lead to a productive and unifying resolution.
Love is not self-seeking
Value the friendship for the relationship over what you get out of it. Practice humility by offering help without expecting anything in return, strengthen your empathy by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, and seek to become more aware of your own selfish behaviors.
Love is not irritable
Seek to extend grace when conflict arises. Instead of being irritated at the other person over little things, choose humility. If something needs to be discussed, choose clear communication rather than pent-up irritation.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs
Give grace in busy seasons. If a friend hasn’t returned a text or reached out in a while, that does not mean the friendship is over. You can check in by offering support without pressuring her to respond. Try to understand that a friendship will look different across seasons, personalities, and life stages. Try not to keep score.
Love rejoices in the truth
Be truthful with your friends. Always choose honesty rather than avoiding the truth when it feels uncomfortable. Spend time together studying the truth, God’s Word, and hold each other accountable to walk in the truth.
Love bears all things
Protect your friends. One of the ways you can do this is by not participating in gossip about your friends. Gossip is never harmless. Seek to believe the best about a person before engaging in hearsay. When your friend is going through something hard, lift her up and seek to provide the strength she needs from a trusted friend.
Love believes and hopes all things
Believe that good things are coming. Trust in God that He is working all things for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28). Help your friend see His love for her, even when she starts to doubt.
Love endures all things
Bear one another’s burdens. When your friend is grieving, mourn with her. Persevere through the trials by continuing to show up when she needs you the most.
Love never ends
Turn to Scripture to see God’s unfailing love for us. Love never ends not because our friendships are perfect, but because God is faithful. Inevitably, we will make mistakes in our relationships that hurt our friends. But looking to Christ’s example of never-ending love and anchoring our commitment in Christ is the best foundation for any friendship.
My most recent book club read was a novel called Theo of Golden. In the book, the main character, Theo, an 86-year-old man, is a master at cultivating friendships. About midway through the story, a local portrait artist asks Theo what he thinks makes good art. Theo responds: “… for anything to be good, truly good, there must be love in it. … Whether the art is sculpture, farming, teaching, lawmaking, medicine, music, or raising a child, if love is not in it — at the very heart of it — it might be skillful, marketable, or popular but I doubt it is truly good. Nothing is what it’s supposed to be if love is not at the core.”1
Cultivating friendships is an art, and love must be at the core of it. What would it look like to practice 1 Corinthians 13 in your friendships this year?
To engage your heart and mind and build deeper community, join us at a Deeply Rooted Leadership Training event this year. Plus, learn more about friendship and sisterhood through the Friends & Sisters Bible study.
About Erin Franklin
Erin Franklin is a marketing specialist on the Lifeway Women team, where she manages the Lifeway Women Blog and produces the Marked Podcast. A graduate of Lipscomb University and a lifelong Tennessean, she enjoys a good ping-pong match, photography, and learning new things. She has written for several Lifeway Women Bible studies, including: The Wonder of Advent, Joy to the World, Devoted, and Grateful. You can connect with her on Instagram: @erin_franklin.
Work Cited
1. Allen Levi, Theo of Golden (Simon & Schuster, 2023), 119.
