Leading Well | Developing Accountability as a Leader  

As I thought about the theme “Trustworthy” for Lifeway Women’s Leadership Forum, I looked up the meaning of the word in the dictionary. Merriam Webster Dictionary defined it as, “worthy of confidence: dependable.” How do we create leaders that are worthy of confidence and that are dependable? How do we become that kind of leader? On social media, we are barraged with negativity about our leaders and their failures—morally, spiritually, politically, and so forth. What is the counter measure to this negativity? I truly believe that it is in becoming leaders that are trustworthy, and to become a trustworthy leader, you need accountability.   

How do you develop accountability as a leader?  

Step 1: Practice humility.

Accountability is built-in for some areas of our lives, and in some areas, we need to generate it. All of it starts with humility. We are not invincible nor are we infallible. We need to acknowledge that we cannot do this alone, and we need others to help us stay on the course. Of course, we are always accountable to God first and foremost. It helps us to have people around us who can encourage us along the way. Also, often times when I see leaders fall from grace, it is due to their pride. The antidote to pride is humility. The first step to accountability is recognizing the need for it and being realistic in our strengths and weaknesses. Take the time to reflect and seek to humble yourself before God needs to do it for you.   

Step 2. Find accountability in your personal life.

One of the easiest areas of attack from Satan is our personal life. No one’s life is perfect, despite what social media tells us. We need accountability in our personal lives. It does not matter whether you are single or married, family or no family. We need people around us to help us be better daughters, moms, grandmothers, wife, and so forth. It is much easier to seek advice from those who have gone before us, but it could also be intimidating as we desperately want people to see us in the best way possible. This accountability person or group needs to be one that you feel safe with to show your vulnerability.   

Do you have someone in your life who knows all about what is going on with your personal life? Is this a person whom you know that loves and cares about you? Has this person “earned” the right to speak into your life? If not, begin by praying for someone. It could be a family member, a spouse, a long-time friend, or a “kindred spirit” person that you connect with on a deeper level. Are you willing to let someone in and see you for you? For some people, they find what they need in a counselor. That is OK for that period of time. My encouragement to you is to find someone for that season in your life or even better someone who has walked through many seasons with you. The second step is to find that person or group and ask them formally to hold you accountable in your areas of weakness in your life and then be willing to share those areas of weakness with them.   

Step 3. Seek accountability in your spiritual life and ministry.

Usually, some form of accountability is in place for the different roles in ministry. You are usually overseen by a pastor, committee, or director. You will still need someone or preferably a group of people who function in different ways of accountability. It can be the group or person mentioned above as well. You will want to meet often with this person or group to get feedback, whether it is a once-a-month check-in or a weekly check-in. Look into areas where you need accountability in ministry such as personal time with God, healthy relationships in ministry, pride, attitudes, physical health, isolation, and burn out.  

I found my accountability partner in a coaching seminar. We first started off as practice partners and eventually became accountability partners. Through our practice sessions, I got to know her. We both serve in ministry but are completely different otherwise—from denominations, personalities, hobbies, and so forth. She is married, and I am single. What we do have in common is that we love the Lord and want to serve Him in ministry. She was a safe person. She also happened to be a Christian counselor. She became my safe person to whom I am able to share about my spiritual walk and ministry, but I have yet to meet her in person in these last two years. You will want to find someone who is spiritually mature, full of grace, willing to ask difficult questions, and someone you feel safe to confide in.   

James 5:16 is clear that we as brothers and sister are to “confess your sins to one another.” We don’t confess those sins to one another because the other person can absolve them. We do that because the process of sharing it brings it to light, and in turn we can give them to God who can handle it. If you go further along in James 5:19-20, we are encouraged to be accountable as brothers and sister: “if any among you strays from the truth, and someone turns him back, let that person know that whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.”

Below is a sample of questions that you can use with your accountability partner:  

Spiritual/Ministry  

• How is your walk with God? What has God been teaching you lately?  

• Do you have joy in ministry or are you doing it alone and about to burn out?  

• What areas/relationship/situations are you struggling with in ministry (bitterness, forgiveness, reconciliation, etc.)?  

• Have you entertained any thoughts, fantasies, or behaviors that could dishonor God or your ministry?  

Personally  

• Is your public life consistent with your private life? Anything hidden?  

• How is your relationship with your spouse/family members?  

• How are you managing your schedule, health, and stress? Sabbath? Finances?  

• Have you lied to me in any of our answers?  

• How can I pray for you? 

About Alicia Wong