Teen girls are having a cultural moment. Coming-of-age series on Prime Video tell us how normal it is to go from barely noticeable to the prettiest girl in the breath of a summer. Clad in pink and flocking to the movie theater, they embraced their inner Barbie and launched her Dreamhouse world to the top of the box office mountain. And unless you’ve been living on Mars, you surely noticed them dancing, posting, and raising their friendship bracelet hands last summer while Taylor Swift (a teen sensation herself some years ago) sang her way across the world packing stadiums and single-handedly saving the economy to the tune of billions of dollars in revenue.
And yet, teen girls are also in crisis. According to a recent study published by the CDC, and cited by every major news publication, teen girls are facing a mental health epidemic and faring much worse than their teen boy counterparts: “nearly 3 in 5 (57%) U.S. teen girls felt persistently sad or hopeless in 2021—double that of boys, representing a nearly 60% increase and the highest level reported over the past decade.”1
These numbers are startling. They don’t seem to match what we see every day when we pick up our phones. Unless of course you are close to a teen girl. You most likely aren’t shaking your head at all.
As the mother of at least one teen girl for the past decade myself, I can tell you these numbers tell a story no mother wants to hear. Or witness. I remember my pastor saying one time, “When you have little kids, they have little problems. When you have big kids, they have big problems.” He was right. I can tell you there is a drastic difference between holding and healing my girls during their toddler years and wrapping my arms around my taller-than-me teen girl who has had her heart broken—again. This is not easy. And though it would be tempting here to dive into the negatives of social media casting blame, I want to point us to prayer. I believe there will always be limits to what you can do for your teen girl. But there will never be limits to what you can pray and what God can do.
Here are three ways to pray for teen girls starting right now.
Pray for God to pursue her heart.
Our teen girls are a lot like us. They long to be seen and known. They want likes, followers, and friends. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with those desires. Some would say they are part of being human. But problems arise when these desires take top shelf in their hearts and create a sense of self-worth that rises and falls when desires are met or unmet, as they invariably are.
When I look at Scriptures like Isaiah 54:10, John 3:16, and 1 John 3:1, I am reminded that I can partner with Jesus and pray for my teen girl’s heart. I start with Scripture because I want a better love story for my teen girl than the world has to offer, and God’s Word is the best foundation. I want her to know that God’s love for her can’t be shaken, that He loved her so much He gave His one and only Son to save her, and He lavishes His love on her and calls her His daughter. I pray these prayers over her and say, “Lord, pursue her heart.”
Pray for friends who endure.
What changes in the teen years that elevates friendship to such a potentially destructive nature? Even after more than ten years navigating the teen years with my girls, and what feels like thousands of hours talking about how to develop healthy relationships during these years, I’m not an expert. But what I’ve discovered is that my girls can come through just about any situation when I spend less time trying to fix it and more time on my knees praying for her to first connect with the Lord and second to be the friend to others she is so desperately seeking herself.
I find myself drawn toward passages like Proverbs 27:1, Mark 2:2-12, and Hebrews 13:5. These passages affirm that Jesus will never leave her or forsake her, that a true friend will both encourage and challenge her, and friends who love and follow Jesus will lend her their faith on the days she is struggling to get herself to him. This is critical to pray for teen girls. I pray often, “Lord, give her friends that endure.”
Pray for God to light her path.
When I was working on my book, Praying for Teen Girls, I organized a very unofficial survey for teen girls regarding prayer. I thought it might be a good idea to ask them what they thought about prayer and what they wanted most from those who prayed for them. I shared with them the theme of each chapter and asked, “In what area do you need prayer most?” Overwhelmingly, respondents said, “I need to find my purpose.” It was nearly double the next two categories of prayer for friends and to feel lived and pursued by God. A teen girl cares deeply about her future and the next right step she will take toward her purpose.
The path your teen girl (and mine) is walking is best seen with eyes of faith. She is somewhere in the process right now of deciding if she will choose to trust or turn back. Honestly, the next step may feel like she is stepping into thin air. What can you do? You can go to your knees and cover her with prayers from Psalm 119:105, Jeremiah 29:11, and 2 Corinthians 5:7. You can pray that God would light her path, remind her that He has good plans for her, and that as followers of Christ, we walk by faith not by sight. You can pray boldly, “Lord, light her path.” And He will.
So, here is what I’m suggesting: Let’s gather our courage as moms and grab on to the hem of the Lord’s garment with all we have and pray. Let’s stop trying to figure it all out, and instead, let it all out at the feet of the One who has the power to change not only our girls, but our hearts as well.
If you want to dive deeper into how you can pray for teen girls, check out the book Praying for Teen Girls: Partner with God for the Heart of Your Daughter by Stacey Thacker. Praying for Teen Boys: Partner with God for the Heart of Your Son by Brooke McGlothlin is also available. Both books help you navigate the teen years and provide over 90 Scripture based prayers.
Read from Brooke McGlothlin on how you can pray for your teen boys.
About Stacey Thacker
Stacey Thacker has long served women and girls in ministry. A respected prayer mentor and Bible teacher, she is the author of nine books, as well as a popular conference speaker, and the Women’s Ministry Director at First Orlando. She lives in Central Florida, with her husband and four daughters. Learn more at staceythacker.com.
Work Cited
- “U.S. Teen Girls Experiencing Increased Sadness and Violence,” CDC.gov, February 13, 2023 https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2023/p0213-yrbs.html.
