Leadership often places us in the uncomfortable position of having to discuss difficult topics or navigate challenging conversations. We know it’s part of the role, but that doesn’t make it any easier to do. So how do we do it? Better yet—how do we do it well?
Here are a few guiding principles and Scripture passages that help me stay truthful, helpful, and hopeful as I lead others through difficult conversations about challenging topics.
1. Prepare Your Heart.
This step is essential—and it’s not a one-time thing. We must return to it over and over.
It’s far too easy to “speak the truth” from a place of frustration or self-righteousness rather than love. That’s why I begin by praying a simple but powerful prayer from John 15. Lord, prune me.
Before I speak, I ask God to remove anything in me that’s not Christ-honoring—my pride, my assumptions, my ego—so I can approach the conversation with humility and grace. I want to be led by the Holy Spirit.
If I sense that I’m trying to be right or make a point, I know I need to pause. I want my words to be shaped by the overflow of my relationship with Jesus. I need the Lord to do refining work in me so He can speak effectively through me.
2. Let God’s Word Speak Clearly.
Before I go into the conversation, I ask myself: What precept or principle from Scripture do I need to know, follow, and share?
Psalm 119:105 teaches us:
“Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path.”
God’s Word gives us wisdom, clarity, and direction. It helps us anchor our message in truth that isn’t swayed by popular trends that are driven by our culture.
Identifying a biblical principle or precept invites God’s Word to lead the way. Once I have that foundation, I can speak with courage, compassion, and clarity.
3. Speak the Truth in Love.
Truth and love are not opposites—they’re partners in gospel-centered leadership. Truth without love will always seem harsh. Love without truth will always appear shallow. But when we put them together, they reflect the heart of Christ.
Ephesians 4:15 says:
“But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ.”
When I begin a difficult conversation, I often start with a gentle reminder: “I love you too much not to tell you the truth.”
This simple phrase has helped open doors and soften hearts. It reminds people that what’s being said isn’t from a judgmental place. Rather, it’s about speaking the truth in love. In a world filled with “my truth” and “your truth,” the most loving thing we can do is point people to God’s truth—the One who brings real freedom and lasting peace.
4. Extend Grace—Even When It’s Hard.
Sometimes, people respond with humility and gratitude. When that happens, give glory and praise to the Lord. At other times, they may become defensive, deflect responsibility, or even attempt to twist our intentions. In those moments, stay grounded in your calling. Set healthy boundaries if needed. And then—extend grace. Pray for them. Keep loving them. Listen to them and try to discern the deeper issues at play in their hearts and minds. Stay ready to help if and when they’re ready to receive it.
I remind myself often: “I’m only responsible for my words, actions, and reactions.” I can’t force change in someone’s life—but I can remain available for the work God is doing in my life and the lives of others.
Ephesians 3:20–21 gives me perspective and hope:
“Now to him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us—to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
5. Keep the Big Picture in Mind.
When we are in the heat of the “battle,” we have to remember the big picture. Why? Because everyone is carrying something heavy. Everyone needs transformation through the sanctification process. Everyone needs the hope that Jesus provides.
That’s what the big picture is about. God is faithful in changing and transforming lives. He often uses challenging circumstances to help us become more like Jesus. When we zoom out and see the big picture, we realize that even tense, uncomfortable conversations on difficult topics can be part of God’s transforming work. And, by His grace, we get to be part of it.
Romans 8:28–29 reminds us:
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, so that he would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”
When we remember the big picture, we gain perspective. We stop seeing the conversation as difficult and start seeing it as a moment where God is moving—in us and them, with the ultimate goal of conforming us to the image of Jesus. Often, in difficult moments, this is the truth that keeps me focused on the ultimate win: God working and moving so that lives are being changed and transformed for eternity.
A Final Encouragement
Hard conversations will never be easy—but they can be truthful, helpful, and hopeful.
As leaders, we’re called to lean into the tough moments—not with fear, but with faith. With hearts prepared, Scripture as our foundation, love in our words, grace in our posture, and the big picture in view. Friends, we can speak into hard places with hope.
Let’s be the kind of leaders who don’t shy away from truth—but who carry it with gentleness, courage, and the love of Christ.
May we lead well.
May we love deeply.
May we never forget that the hope we offer is found in Jesus—who is always faithful, always good, and always at work.
Read more leadership tips in our Leading Well blog series.
About Andrea Lennon
Andrea is excited to serve as the director of Lifeway Women. Andrea is a Bible teacher whose life calling is to teach women to know the truth, live the truth, and share the truth. Her passion is honest conversation about the topics that drive our everyday lives and how we can always weather the storms of life through the love and power of God and His Word. Andrea is a 2004 graduate of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. She has written and published books, Bible studies, and eBooks. Andrea lives in Arkansas with her husband, Jay. They are thankful for two amazing sons, two beautiful daughters-in-law, and one very chill dog.
