Suffering is having what you don’t want or wanting what you don’t have.1
Elisabeth Elliot
Growing up, I was that one shy girl who was more of the observer of the group. If the youth pastor wanted volunteers for a game on Wednesday night, I would casually sink in my seat hoping not to be seen. Please don’t pick me. Please don’t pick me. I would say in my head over and over. I almost always got by without being picked and was grateful every time.
I usually didn’t want to go up out of fear. I would often think, What are they going to think of me? What if I mess up? What if I don’t know what to do?
Now, I’m sure we all have thoughts like these. Whether they are at youth group in the pew begging not to be chosen for the group game or on a much grander scale, such as making big life decisions about marriage, career choices, or family decisions.
As I grew up, I quickly realized that the fearful questions that kept me from being willing to go on stage were the same questions I ask myself now when it comes to those big life decisions. Sometimes, how I respond to those questions shows how willing I am to simply give God my yes and step into what He has for me.
In my freshman year of college, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Trying to answer those questions became a lot harder to process and deal with. A lot of times I would continue to just sink into my seat and do my best to keep from making decisions and following God’s lead because I was scared.
Anxiety quickly became a thorn for me. It was something that I repeatedly asked God to remove from my life because I thought that it was preventing me from experiencing the fullness of Him and what He had for me. Little did I know, it was the exact opposite. Anxiety was something God had given me to draw nearer to Him and has since used it to consistently show others how He has moved in my life.
A good example of this can be found in 2 Corinthians 12.
In this moment we meet the apostle Paul. Paul shared with us in verse 7, “Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself.”
Like myself, Paul pleaded with God to take this away from him to which God responded in verse 9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.”
God is not surprised by our human nature. In fact, He designs us knowing that our genetic makeup is going to be imperfect due to sin. On this side of heaven, there will always be a void between our sin and His perfection. Although this is true, God does not leave us in our infected bodies, rather He cleanses us through His goodness and grace.
Paul responded to God and shared that because of Christ’s power, he can share about his weakness. Our weaknesses and difficulties are the reason we need God, so why not talk about them?
Every imperfect thing in this world exists to point us to perfection, which is found in Christ. Paul understood this and highlighted his internal imperfections to show that he alone could not endure trials. He knew that if he were left to his own accord, his thorn would outweigh God’s glory, and because of that, he welcomed God’s power into his life.
“For when I am weak, then I am strong” (v. 10).
God was not surprised by Paul’s imperfection either. In fact, God saved Paul at a time when he was persecuting disciples of Jesus. In Acts 9, Paul (referred to by his Hebrew name, Saul, in this chapter) was making murderous threats towards Jesus’s disciples. Saul participated in persecuting a lot of followers of Jesus.
At the same time, Jesus visited Saul and asked why he was persecuting Him. Jesus instructed Saul to go into the city to be told what he must do. Saul got up from the ground and was without sight. He and his men continued to travel into the city as they were told.
Shortly after this, Jesus approached one of His disciples named Ananias. He told Ananias to go visit Saul and heal his sight. Ananias questioned why God might want him to go and heal someone who is persecuting his followers, to which the Lord said, “Go, for this man is my chosen instrument to take my name to Gentiles, kings, and Israelites. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name” (v. 15).
Far before Paul became a follower of Jesus, he was lost in his sin. This did not stop Jesus from seeking him out with the purpose of him being used for God’s glory. Here we can trust God’s promise made in Romans 8:28, for “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”
Grace is displayed in God’s decision to choose even the least of these for the work of His kingdom. We can see that even after Christ, Paul’s still had struggles. As the Lord said he would in Acts 9:15, Paul suffered for the name of Jesus through prison and through his thorn. These hindrances did not keep Paul from doing what he was commanded to do. Instead, they motivated him to seek God in all things and use his suffering to encourage others.
Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually advanced the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to everyone else, that my imprisonment is because I am in Christ. Most of the brothers have gained confidence in the Lord from my imprisonment and dare even more to speak the word fearlessly.
Philippians 1:12-14
I have learned from Paul’s testimony that my thorn of anxiety is not something to discourage me, but because I am in Christ, I am to take heart in suffering and use it for the sake of the gospel. Do not let your discontentment with your suffering keep you from having confidence in Christ’s ability to use you. Paul’s confidence comes because through Christ there is fullness of life in suffering. “For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21)
So, friend, sometimes removing your thorn, whatever that thorn may be, can take away what God has given you to use for the sake of the kingdom. Lean on him and bring your hurt to His feet. Allow Him to strengthen you so that you may be a living testimony for those around you.
Join me as we turn our thorns into triumph.
Work Cited
- Elisabeth Elliot, Suffering Is Never for Nothing (Nashville, TN: B&H Publishing Group, 2019).
About Lauren Bearry
Lauren Bearry is a former communications intern at Lifeway. She now lives in Auburn, Alabama, where she works full-time as a marketing and events coordinator at Youth for Christ. She graduated from Western Kentucky University with a degree in strategic marketing and a double minor in sales and entrepreneurship. Her hobbies include reading, thrifting, photography, writing, and spending time with friends and family!
