My husband and I have two sons in college and one teenage son old enough to drive and work in the evenings. Often, we look around and find ourselves saying, “Oh, it’s just us. Again.”
Is the empty nest season sneaking up on you, too? Let’s not get discouraged. “Empty” doesn’t have to mean “dry.” The next season you step into might just be the one of the most spiritually fruitful seasons of your life.
For so many years, we were in a constant state of motion—chauffeuring, cleaning, preparing loads of food, and calendaring a family of five through church activities and sports. The busy season feels endless. A date night meant a major feat of coordination with babysitters, cartoon movies, and pizza delivery.
James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Babies are a gift, rambunctious children are a gift, busy teens are a gift, having a full schedule of church and school activities is a gift, but having an empty nest can be a gift, too.
How can we prepare for an empty nest that is fruitful? One way is to focus on connections—not only (re)connecting with your spouse but finding new ways to connect with your church.
3 Ways to Re(Connect) with Your Church
Now that you have a little extra time and headspace, consider serving your church family in a new way. Reach out to leadership to understand what the needs are and ask the Lord to give you innovative ideas for ways to serve.
1. It could be time to step out in leadership by teaching a Sunday School class or small group, taking time to visit homebound church members, or lead a women’s Bible study for the first time.
Lifeway Women can help equip you to lead no matter what stage of life you are in.
2. Consider how you can minister to young families in that busy season you just came out of by volunteering in the church nursery, leading a young moms’ Bible study, or helping decorate for Vacation Bible School.
3. Start something new! Brainstorming new ways to reach the community can be as easy and fun as a community pickleball ministry.
Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God. If anyone speaks, let it be as one who speaks God’s words; if anyone serves, let it be from the strength God provides, so that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ in everything. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever.
1 Peter 4:10-11
3 Ways to Re(Connect) with Your Spouse
Children are at home for a fleeting season, and often kids and their activities become the center point. Take time to deliberately connect with your spouse, the one you chose “forever” with.
As I mentioned above, my husband and I will look around and say, “Oh, it’s just us.” What I didn’t say was that this statement is often followed by “Let’s eat PB&Js and watch a movie.” Now, there’s nothing wrong with a movie night, to be sure. Just don’t stop communicating and connecting.
1. Take inventory. Remind each other regularly about the beginning—why did you choose each other? Ask each other what you want this season to look like and communicate expectations. One of you may be thinking of simply trying a new recipe and the other is thinking of backpacking for a month!
2. Serve the church together—see the above list! There’s nothing like ministering to others as a couple. Now that you have time, meet with church leadership, think outside the box, and find new ways to serve your church body.
3. You aren’t alone. Connect with other empty nesters. Make dinner and host other empty nest couples. Share ideas about how you can spend your newfound space and slower pace.
Make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
Philippians 2:2
Let’s be deliberate about staying connected. What a gift to have the time and opportunity to serve the church and each other while enjoying the slower pace of an empty, but fruitful, nest.
ABOUT ANA HOEKSEMA
Ana Hoeksema is a manager on the Lifeway Creative Team. She lives in Amarillo, Texas, with her husband and three sons. Ana is passionate about Jesus, family, church community, books, and the Texas A&M Aggies.
