When I think of the first woman I discipled, I cringe at our horrible beginning. I approached discipling as a teacher might teach algebra or biology. I used lots of words, I assigned her reading passages to study that I thought were relevant to her life, and I had a plan of how I would lead her to a deeper understanding of God and her faith. Basically, it was a disaster! A couple of weeks in, God graciously led me to a beautiful truth. This was not math class, and she was not my student. She was a child of God with whom the Lord had entrusted me. I was there to come alongside her as she navigated her growing faith and newfound relationship with her Lord and Savior.
Although my intentions were good, I had failed to start with her and her walk with the Lord. I was leading without taking the time to see where God was taking her. Through prayer, I repented to God and asked Him to lead me in His way of discipleship. Here are a few practical tips I have learned along the way in discipling a new believer.
1. Give her the Word.
This may seem overly simple, but often it is the simple things we miss. Make sure the woman you are discipling has a Bible. Yes, she can access the Bible on her phone, but there is something to be said for holding the Word of God in your hands that creates a deeper connection. If she has the means to purchase a Bible, make a plan to go Bible shopping together or take the time to look for one together online. If she does not have the means to purchase one, check with your church because many churches have Bibles they give out. Either way, ensure she has a physical copy of the Bible in a translation that is accurate and easy to understand. I love the CSB version for this.
2. Meet her where she is.
If we look at the relationship of Paul and Timothy in the Bible, we see evidence of them doing life together. They had strong bonds and knew each other on a deep level. As leaders, we have to take the time to ask questions and truly listen. As we engage on a personal level and lean into the Lord to show us how to disciple, a solid and personal discipleship connection can grow. Learning about her season of life, her time constraints, and her testimony of faith will help you find a starting place in your walk together. Knowing her story can help in choosing a study to start with.
Three great types of study to start with are a topical study on a specific area she may be struggling in, a metanarrative study that gives the grand picture of the Bible like Seamless by Angie Smith, or studies that dig deeper into our identity in Christ like Alive by Lifeway Women or TruthFilled by Ruth Chou Simons.
3. Lead with authenticity and transparency.
One of my favorite parts of discipleship is unpacking sanctification. Sanctification is the beautiful refining process that is taking place in each and every one of us as believers. Without help in understanding that process, it can be uncomfortable and leave a new believer feeling overwhelmed. When we walk with someone and are open and honest about how the Lord is working in our own lives, we provide hope and encouragement for the new believer in her personal journey. Be open about your struggles, pointing back to the goodness of God and how you are seeing Him at work in your life.
I can remember as a new believer, my sweet friend Kelly sat down to study with me. She asked me to pray for her as she was struggling with feeling bitter about a certain situation. She pointed me to verses in Scripture she was leaning into and how she saw God helping her to release the bitterness. I was shocked that this strong woman of God was struggling with something like bitterness. Her transparency with me gave me space to embrace the ways God was working in me rather than berating myself with shame for not having the answers.
4. Show her the Word.
If you did not grow up with the Bible, it can be an incredibly daunting book. It is long, and many of the books of the Bible are hard to pronounce. Let’s be real—it is intimidating! So, help her confront that and find ways to take hold of her time in the Word. Show her how to get into the Word. This can look like highlighting the verse of the day from a Bible app or highlighting a verse that stuck out to her from your study that week and making a note about it. Show her how you dig into the Word in your own Bible.
I recently met with a young woman who has the most precious relationship with her Bible. She can pull Scripture into conversation like no other. She showed me how she studies her Bible using highlighters and a highlighting guide she found online. I have incorporated it into my own study time, and it has been such a gift.
5. Show her how to pray.
Prayer is such a beautiful and integral part of our faith. It is open conversation with our Savior. Prayer is so vital that the apostles took the time to ask Jesus how to do it. Take the time to walk through prayer with her. Help her see that prayer is not so much about the words that are spoken but the heart behind the words. Prayer does not need to be eloquent; in reality many of our deepest prayers have very few words. Prayer should be intentional and relational. I like sharing what prayers of thanksgiving, repentance, intercession, and lament can look like.
Above all else, show her Jesus. Show her the love of Christ that has been poured out for her. Remind her that you don’t have all the answers, but God does. Through time in the Word and through prayer, He will be faithful in leading her. Help her see that the one true God has chosen her and adopted her as His child. He will grow her, refine her, and lead her as she leans into her relationship with Him. You need to show her what it looks like to love Jesus and trust Him. In every joyous moment, in every hardship, we turn to Jesus through prayer, having faith that He is with us.
About the Alive Bible Study
As a new believer in Jesus, you may be wondering, What now? How do I continue growing in my faith? In a world full of confusing beliefs and persuasive voices, it’s vital to understand and embrace your full identity in Christ as you begin your journey of faith.
In Alive: Growing in Your Relationship with Jesus, you’ll spend five weeks walking through the basic, fundamental beliefs of the Christian faith. You’ll gain understanding of the change that has taken place in your heart and life as a new believer and learn what it means to walk out your faith as an individual and as part of the body of Christ—the community known as the Church. Understand the meaning and importance of historic Christian practices like baptism, prayer, worship, the Lord’s Supper, tithing, missions, and more. And hear and respond to the calling and encouragement to take the long view of the Christian life, being challenged to endure and leave a legacy of faith behind.
ABOUT SALINA KELLEY
Salina Kelley is the administrative assistant for Lifeway Women. Within the church, she has served as an executive assistant to the head pastor, church planting leader, women’s ministry leader, and led support groups for single moms and foster families. She is a former foster parent and is a passionate advocate for the restoration of families through trauma-informed intervention and walking hand-in-hand with biological families to show them the love of Christ. Salina and her husband, David, have six awesome children ranging from toddler all the way to adult. In addition to her role as a mom and her work with Lifeway, she is currently pursuing a degree in Christian Leadership & Management: Business Management through Liberty University.