Each Wednesday in April, we’re sharing an article from a special miniseries about how to talk to and answer common questions a new believer might ask you. Each article, written by a contributor to the Alive Bible study, will include helpful tips about how to talk to a new believer in a way that feels welcoming. Now up in the series: “Is Changing My Sinful Behavior Possible?”
“I just don’t know if I can trust myself.”
When my friend said those words, I knew exactly what she meant—and how she felt. In the early days and years of my walk with the Lord, I struggled with similar feelings of shame and defeat. There were so many gaps between how I was living and how Scripture invited me to live. And even though my heart desired to love the Lord with all my heart and follow His commands fully, my heart’s desire wasn’t always enough to close the gap. I fell short often.
After so many years of living one way, how could I possibly live anew?
Is change really possible?
It’s possible that you’ve asked or are currently asking this question. You look at your life and then at your Bible, only to look back at your life to see all the gaps that need filling. You feel stuck and even, at times, like a hypocrite because you just can’t seem to get it together. If you would raise your hand to any of these questions, thoughts, or feelings, I want to share with you two truths the Bible invites you to embrace.
Change Takes Time
In Romans 12:1, the apostle Paul urged believers to live a life of obedient worship to God in light of the mercy they have received through Christ. He then explained the work that needed to take place in their lives to make lives of obedient worship possible. He wrote, “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2, CSB).”
With these words, Paul revealed two helpful truths to believers asking if change is possible:
1. You Once Lived Conformed to the Ways of the World.
Before you placed your faith in Jesus and decided to follow Him, you lived a life conformed to the ways of the world. You thought and acted like the world thinks and acts. Many of your decisions and opinions about relationships, money, and success were patterned after the world.
2. You Now Need to be Transformed to the Ways of Christ.
Given your former way of life, you need to undergo a process of transformation to live a life of obedient worship to God. Though you have been made new in Christ, you are still actively being made new (Heb. 10:14). And this transformation will not happen passively. It happens intentionally as you faithful effort to bring your past thoughts, actions, decisions, and opinions into alignment with God’s Word.
This faithful effort of untethering your life from the world’s ways and tethering it to Christ takes time. After years of living a life opposed to Christ, living a life of obedient worship to Him will take time.
And guess what? God knows this.
In Titus 2:11-13, commenting more on the process of transformation every Christian is to undertake, Paul wrote:
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, instructing us to deny godlessness and worldly lusts and to live in a sensible, righteous, and godly way in the present age, while we wait for the blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Here, Paul revealed that God’s grace has appeared to save us and change us. The word instructing could also be translated as “training,” and its -ing verb tense lets us know that the change this training brings about is both active and progressive, not passive and immediate.
However, many of us think that when we come to faith in Christ, life change will be immediate and require little effort. We believe that sanctification is the one-time work of a magic wand, not the daily work of our partnership with Spirit. But God knows our transformation will take time. He supplies us the grace we need to grow into the people He has called us to be. He is daily, as an outpouring of His grace, helping us to close the gap between where we are in our walks with Him and where He is calling us to be. He doesn’t demand our perfection. Instead, He invites us to lean into His grace to change and grow.
Change Takes Faith
As believers, we need faith not only for salvation but also faith for change. In Romans 6:1-11, Paul instructed believers to no longer live as slaves to sin because of their newfound union with Christ. He reminds them that they were baptized into Christ’s death and, therefore, dead to the power of sin. He puts before them the truth that they were raised with Christ in His resurrection and, therefore, possess the power to live the Christ life. Then, after rehearsing these truths, Paul offered this command:
So, you too consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
Romans 6:11
Transforming by receiving God’s grace
Before calling them to exhibit faith-filled behavior, Paul commanded them to embody a faith-filled posture. Paul knew faith is the starting point to living a life of obedient worship to Christ.
Paul’s starting point is instructive. Many of us, when we find ourselves stuck in a pattern of sin, merely seek to change our sinful behaviors. Though this is a worthy pursuit, it only addresses our sins on a surface level. But what about the sinful posture of our hearts? What about all the ways our minds need to be renewed to discern God’s good, pleasing, and perfect will? And what about the places in our lives where the transforming truths of the gospel have yet to take root? So, yes, seek to change your sinful behavior. But also, be sure to look under the hood of your heart to consider what sinful motives led you there and to apply your new dead-and-raised-to-live identity in Christ to the places you need to change and grow. But do so by receiving the grace God gives you to transform into the image of His Son—emphasis on receiving.
Receiving God’s grace
In our culture, we talk a lot about “giving ourselves grace.” While I understand the sentiment, especially as someone who is often too hard on themselves, I have recently come to trade the mantra for another one. Instead of seeking to give myself grace, I am learning to receive the grace God so generously provides. And with this trade, I am finding it easier to embrace the truth that change takes time and faith. In receiving God’s grace, my feelings of shame and defeat with my gaps find patience and hope, and my worries of whether or not I can trust myself are absolved. For I know that I can’t trust myself for change. Only God’s grace and His alone.
ABOUT YANA CONNER
Yana Conner is a follower of Jesus Christ who seeks to help others live before the face of God in a broken world as they await His return (Titus 2:11-13). She is a writer and Bible teacher who currently serves as adult ministry director at Vertical Church, where she creates discipleship communities and develops leaders. You can learn more about her at yanajenay.com or follow her on IG @yanajenay.
