This past year, my husband told people I was almost 73. He said it so often I believed it and I told people the same thing if they asked. When my birthday got close, I realized I was just turning 72, not 73! I’m sure you wonder how I would forget my age, but honestly, I don’t think about it often. I still feel like I’m half that age. Maybe it’s because at 5’1” I just never grew up!
I have no desire to do life over. Especially when I see what the younger generation is dealing with and the challenges of the culture we live in today. I imagine my parents thought the same thing about my crazy 60’s boomer generation.
So, how can we become comfortable in our stage of life, and what does it really mean to age well? Here are some tips for “aging gracefully.”
Thinking Young
One of the first things we can do is to try to keep a “younger than our age” mindset. For some reason, I’ve always felt younger than my years. I believe that has helped me age without feeling old. That wouldn’t happen if I grieved each birthday. In fact, I don’t really think much about my age until someone asks (or when my bulging discs make me get out of a chair slowly after sitting for awhile!).
If we keep telling ourselves we are old, we might just believe it and slow down before we even need to, settling in to lethargy in many areas of our lives.
Avoid Pride
I’ve heard the comment, “I’ve lived so long I’ve earned the right to say and do whatever I want to.” This is prideful and arrogant rather than wise from our life experiences. The next generation desperately needs the wisdom of those who have gone before them to help those behind us find ways to navigate life today. Pride doesn’t attract others, and since we want to share wisdom the Lord has taught us, we must practice humility. We share the things we have gotten right as well as the places we have failed so we can identify with others who struggle.
Keep Learning
As we age, we might think, Since we are not in school and are possibly retired from employment, what do we need to learn? The day we stop learning, we stop growing. Growing is a part of life.
This is true of all kinds of learning. What about a new skill in an area of interest for you? My go-to is reading, both fiction and nonfiction. If I come across something that interests me or makes me curious, I dig for more information. YouTube has become the “go-to” for how to do most anything!
As believers who are further into life’s journey than others, what are we doing to impact their lives? Are you teaching someone else? I have found that leading Bible studies and discipleship groups keeps me digging for biblical meaning and application as I prepare. Often, because I am retired from employed ministry, I have time to go on rabbit chases with something new I’ve discovered in Scripture. Not only to teach but also so that I learn more about God.
One thing I didn’t see coming in retirement was having to learn how to be married when you are together 24/7 for the first time in fifty years! We struggled to figure out how to get along! This was a new place in life and in marriage than we’d ever been before!
As we age, our hearing can decline and add to that, the fact that we are together so much, we tend to tune each other out sometimes. We are having to learn to listen, pay attention, and be patient with each other in ways we never have before. We must keep leaning how to love our spouse practically, emotionally, and physically!
Read, listen to podcasts, and learn from other people regarding a variety of topics. Then, share what you are learning with someone else. It helps keep our minds sharp as we continue learning as long as we breathe. It also helps us stay humble knowing we don’t know it all even after all these years.
Find Physical Strength
When I was serving in full time vocational ministry that included lots of travel, I normally woke up to a dreaded 4:30 a.m. alarm and faced heavy traffic in my commute. I started early and kept going all day long until my head hit the pillow at about 10 p.m. I credited my metabolism for being able to do that. By the time I retired from that position twenty-two years later, I knew my “metabolism” wasn’t what it used to be. I just couldn’t continue that pace forever! I think I slept more in the first few months of retirement than I’d done most of my adult life!
I have more aches and pains now, but exercise has helped my body keep moving in retirement. It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise you get, but do something! Maybe you cannot exercise as much or as hard as before, but keep moving.
Find what you can do at each life stage and do it. Make sure it is something you enjoy, or else you will have trouble being consistent. For me, yoga and an elliptical in my home have helped me continue to exercise. It’s harder now to maintain—I’ve learned what many of you have: “eat less; exercise more” to stay healthy.
Laugh A Lot!
Our life group is a place we love, pray, learn, and laugh together with friends. These are the people we would call in the middle of the night if we had a need. They are also the ones we can be just plain silly with and enjoy belly laughs. Joy helps us deal with the harder places in life. So laugh a lot, whether it’s with friends or watching funny shows or videos.
We tend to process things more slowly than we did when we were younger. Be okay with that and learn to even laugh at yourself and with others about the affects of aging.
Express Gratitude
This is something the Lord has been teaching me for the last several months, especially in struggles. If we can eventually turn our hearts from anger, confusion, and disappointment toward what we do have and all the Lord has done for us, we will feel lighter rather than weighed down. We will feel older when we do not express gratitude to those around us and to God.
We are reminded in Psalm 136:1 to “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His faithful love endures forever.” Because God has, and will always, provide all we need, we can become content in each and every situation, through the power of the Holy Spirit.
He provides ALL we need: “And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work” (2 Cor. 9:8). “His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Pet. 1:3).
We experience peace and overflow with gratitude through contentment. One friend said it this way, “Peace is available to those who learn how to navigate the ‘dance of mortality.’”
Grieve Well
The longer we live, the more people our age suffer health issues. Our friends and family members pass away. Losing a spouse that you have lived with most of your life is devastating. If we do not grieve in a healthy way, we will suffer emotionally and physically, causing us to age more quickly. Losing a lifelong friend can also cause deep pain.
One 80-year-old seminary professor said it this way, “Life is full of hellos and goodbyes. We work hard on learning how to say hello, but not on learning how to say goodbye.”
Death will always be a part of our aging journey. But as believers, we grieve with hope of eternity. We must treasure our loved ones while we can and find a way to walk though the grief process. Do not hesitate to find a Christian counselor to help you if necessary.
Serve Jesus
We never retire from ministry. As believers, we are to continue serving and reaching those around us for Christ. You have God-given gifts and His wisdom to share. Use these to get outside yourself and serve someone else. There are so many needs around us every day. You may have more time now to love on them and meet their needs. As you do, you bring joy and share Jesus’s light in a dark world.
Remember, you are not finished serving Jesus until you see Him face to face. The generations behind you are desperate for your life experiences and wisdom. Give yourself grace in the aging process, and give others grace as they age!
God’s Word says it this way: “Even while I am old and gray, God, do not abandon me, while I proclaim your power to another generation, your strength to all who are to come” (Ps. 71:18).
Wake up each morning with excited anticipation of what the day and the Lord hold for you.
Make the most of each one the Lord gives you and serve Him each day!
ABOUT CHRIS ADAMS
Chris Adams is an author, speaker, blogger, and women’s ministry consultant. She retired from Lifeway Christian Resources in 2017 after serving over twenty-two years as the women’s ministry specialist. Chris helped pioneer women’s ministry as we know it today and compiled three women’s leadership books: Women Reaching Women, Transformed Lives, and Women Reaching Women in Crisis.
Prior to her employment at Lifeway, she was the special ministries coordinator at Green Acres Baptist Church in Tyler, Texas, overseeing women’s ministry and missions education.
When Chris is not consulting, speaking to women, or training women’s ministry leaders, you can
find her reading, being with family, or spending time at the beach. She married Pat in 1971, and they have twin daughters, two sons in law, seven grandchildren, seven bonus grands, and four great-grands.
Twitter and Instagram: @chrisadams4
Facebook: facebook.com/chrisadams4
and facebook.com/chrismcphersonadams
Website: chrisadams.blog
