As a single woman in my thirties, I’ve walked into church services and sat on my own more times than I can count. And to be honest, it can be difficult if you’re always attending by yourself. It might be that you’ve been single for a long time, are widowed or single again, or are attending church without your spouse. No matter the circumstances, it can feel lonely and uncomfortable to be there alone.
It’s important to keep a couple of truths in mind whether you’re visiting a church for the first time or attending a church you’ve been part of for years. First, even if you are physically walking into a space by yourself, remember that you are never alone (Isa. 41:10). You are seen, known, and loved by the Lord. Even before another person in that church knows your name, the God of the universe knows every hair on your head (Luke 12:7). He is always near, and He cares for you (1 Pet. 5:7).
Second, there is a place for you in the church. As followers of Jesus, we are a part of the body of Christ (1 Cor. 12:27). We all have spiritual gifts that He will use to reach people with His love, meet tangible needs inside and outside the church walls, and build His church (Eph. 4:11-13). Those gifts don’t depend on your relationship status or whether you are attending church alone. The Lord wants to use you right now in this season you are in. Perhaps your gift is making people feel seen, welcome, and loved. Consider becoming a greeter or hosting a small group in your home. If you love teaching and helping others understand Scripture, serve as a small group leader in the student ministry or lead a Sunday School class. Maybe the Lord has given you a heart for those who are hurting. Could you help with a ministry that meets needs in your community? No matter how the Lord has gifted you, rest in the assurance that you matter, and He is graciously inviting you to join Him in His kingdom work.
Because you are a valuable member of the body of Christ, connecting with others and investing time and energy in relationships within the church is important. Now, as an introvert myself, I know trying to meet people and make friends can feel exhausting or overwhelming at times. But I promise the effort will be worth it. Here are a few tips to consider as you build relationships with others in your church.
- The first tip is simply to keep going. Keep showing up and making an effort. It’s easy to feel lonely and give up, especially if it takes time to find and make meaningful connections. Sometimes you meet friends right away. Other times, it takes quite a while. However long it takes, continue going to church. Church is not only about making connections with people. More importantly, church is about focusing our hearts on the Lord, His Word, and His kingdom.
- One of the best ways to meet people is through a small group or Sunday School class. Look for a women’s Bible study or a co-ed group with adults of all ages and life stages. Attending a group week after week is a natural way to make meaningful connections.
- Serving others is another great way to feel connected. As I mentioned earlier, you are valuable to the body of Christ. There is someone who would benefit from your friendship, and there are places where your gifts can be used to bring glory to the Lord and care for others. Plus, serving can be a lot of fun! It’s a great way to meet others who are like-minded and to feel like you’re part of something greater than yourself.
- Finally, look for opportunities to help others feel welcome. As someone who has attended church alone, you understand what it feels like and how difficult it can be. If you notice another woman sitting alone or see someone who looks lost or overwhelmed as she walks in the door, consider saying hi. Offer to sit with her or even simply introduce yourself and let her know you’re glad she’s there. It can make a world of difference for her, and it will bring joy to you as well! And who knows, she might just become a dear friend!
I know it’s not easy to attend church alone. It may feel easier to simply stay home, to sneak into the service late, or to leave early so you don’t feel quite so isolated. But remember that you are seen and loved. You have a place in His church. Keep going. It will be worth it.
About Tessa Morrell
Tessa Morrell is a production editor for Lifeway Women. She is passionate about serving in her church and studying Scripture with others. She also enjoys visiting local coffee shops, browsing in antique stores, and creating jewelry and art.
