Before we begin, let’s define the word guardian. A guardian is a relative or person other than a parent who has taken on the role of caregiver for a child or children. The idea of the nuclear family (a mom, dad, and at least two children) as the norm may be a thing of the past. In our current culture, even the word family has become a complicated term. As a woman who became a mom through the gift of adoption, I know there are many ways God can build a family.
How is He and/or how did He build yours? Do you find yourself parenting again or parenting when you least expected to be? Oh, I would love to hear your story and encourage you because you are certainly not alone. In 1968 in the United States, “approximately 2.0 million (3%) children lived with no parent. In 2020, that estimate rose to approximately 3.0 million (4%). Among those living without a parent, more than half (55%) had a grandparent in the household.”1 You are not alone.
Is there a biblical precedent for what you are doing? I believe there is. Consider Esther in the Old Testament. We aren’t told why her parents were missing, but we do know she was raised by her Uncle Mordecai. Esther 2:5-7a says this, “In the fortress of Susa, there was a Jewish man named Mordecai son of Jair, son of Shimei, son of Kish, a Benjaminite. Kish had been taken into exile from Jerusalem with the other captives when King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon took King Jeconiah of Judah into exile. Mordecai was the legal guardian of his cousin Hadassah (that is, Esther), because she had no father or mother.”
If you aren’t familiar with Esther’s story, I encourage you to read it. For now, know this: God used this young woman, raised by her uncle, to provide the leadership that would save the Jewish people from an evil plot of utter destruction. One of the most familiar passages from this account is found in Esther 4:14. (Mordecai was speaking here.) “If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father’s family will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.”
If you are raising a child and you are not the birth parent, I want to encourage you:
- You have been entrusted with a high calling, to pass on a heritage of faith and devotion to God. Stay the course.
- Step into your calling. Mordecai was overlooked for a time but was both trustworthy, devout, and ultimately rewarded for his faithfulness.
- Transition your focus from what might feel like a burden to this perspective: You are in a unique position to breathe the breath of God into his/her life. That child that exhausts you and wears you out today may be used by God to change the world twenty years from now.
- Speaking of that child that exhausts you today—for you to stay the course, you will have to be diligent to care for yourself. What does that mean? Find a babysitter or utilize church resources that provide Mother’s Day Out programs. Intentionally schedule time alone for yourself. Feed your soul and spirit with what is good. Exercise and eat nutritious foods. Sleep. These are all ways you can take care of yourself so you are better able to care for others.
- Remember you are a refuge for your child, and a refuge does not necessarily stop the storm, but it does provide a safe place to rest.
- Finally, thank you. Thank you for all you do. Thank you for the tears, the sleepless nights, the prayers, the sacrifice, and the enormous effort you make for the sake of a child.
The next generation will be our future pastors, worship leaders, teachers, creatives, political leaders, and more. Who’s to say the child you are raising today won’t change the world and be the next Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr., Billy Graham, or Kay Arthur? Who’s to say? Only God.
“For such a time as this . . .” (Esth. 4:14).
Kaye Hurta has a Masters Degree in counseling from Liberty University and is a crisis counselor for Women’s Events through Lifeway Christian Resources. Whether speaking, singing or listening, Kaye’s passion is to help others find intimacy with Christ and soul transformation through the living pages of His Word. “I was a wounded, lonely Midwest farm girl until the Divine Romancer swept me off my feet. I want to steward my story well so that others can find Him in their stories and be fully satisfied.” Kaye met and married her husband Chris in Austin, Texas in 1987. They have two daughters through the miracle of adoption, Madison and Cami. They live on Florida’s West Coast and are both on staff at Bayside Community Church. Kaye is also a contributing author for the Lifeway resource, Women Reaching Women in Crisis.
Work Cited
1. Paul Hemez and Chanell Washington, “Percentage and Number of Children Living With Two Parents Has Dropped Since 1968,” United States Census Bureau, April 12, 2021, https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2021/04/number-of-children-living-only-with-their-mothers-has-doubled-in-past-50-years.html#:~:text=Living%20With%20No%20Parent&text=In%201968%2C%20approximately%202.0%20million,a%20grandparent%20in%20the%20household.
