After working a long day at the office, I spend most of my hour-long commute home dreaming of putting on my soft pants. You know, the well-worn pair with rips and stains and the perfect amount of softness and elastic? Yes, those. <3
I picture myself in my soft pants, a cold Diet Coke in hand, cuddled up on my couch, binge-watching something on Netflix. Most of the time, this dream is not a reality. After all, #adulting. But a girl can dream, right?
Whether it’s a long day at the office, chauffeuring kids all over the city, or drowning in dishes and laundry, our daily lives can really take a toll on us. Sometimes, the last thing we want to do is freshen up our makeup, finish our homework, and head to Bible study.
I think many of us start out our Bible study season with a lot of hope. We sign up for a new study and enjoy our first few weeks of conversation and new friends—but then it happens. Netflix trumps our homework a few times, we feel guilty, and it’s just easier to skip that week. And the next week. And the week after that. Before you know it, you’ve just missed the whole study and you’re feeling like a Bible study dropout.
So how do we combat this as leaders? How do we make our Bible studies more appealing than Netflix and soft pants? How do we keep ourselves and our group members from losing momentum?
Here are three things to communicate to your group to help with this:
- Come As You Are
Leading a group with a “come as you are” mentality starts with you as the leader. It’s something you have to communicate, and it’s something you have to live. This looks like a living room you didn’t have time to vacuum, hair you haven’t washed in 3+ days, and tear-stained cheeks from a hard day. As the leader, you must communicate that no matter what has happened that day, the women are free to come as they are. This kind of mentality starts with you.
- Come No Matter What
It’s tempting as a leader to cancel your study when six of the ten people in your group have said they can’t make it. But the reality is, some of the sweetest conversations that will happen all year will be with the four who show up. Make a decision that you’ll come no matter what, and this kind of attitude will trickle down to the rest of your group. Come even if you didn’t do any of the week’s homework. Come if you didn’t hear last week’s sermon. Come if there’s twelve of you or three of you. Come if you forgot the Bible study videos and your co-leader can’t make it. Make the decision to come no matter what and your group will learn to do the same.
- Come or Be Missed
At some point or another, we have all asked the question “Does anybody notice if I’m not there?” This is when the pull to soft pants is the strongest. 😉 The best way to help your group battle the urge to stay home is to communicate that they are missed when they aren’t there. This means replying to a group text that they will be missed. This means following up the next day with voicemail. This means a big hug when they come back the next week. Make a point to intentionally connect with those who miss, and you’ll see them come back week to week.
When we create a ‘Bible study culture’ that encourages the women to come as they are, to come no matter what, and to know that if they don’t come, they’ll be missed, we’ve created a no-judgement zone: a space where they can belong and a place where they feel valued and loved.
Netflix can’t compete with that.
And if you’re like me and the ladies in my group, we just combine the best of both worlds and wear our soft pants to Bible study.
Mickey Pitts serves as a Marriage & Family Strategist for Lifeway Christian Resources. She is passionate about equipping couples with tools to help their marriages and families thrive. Mickey loves ministering to women and coaches women’s Bible study leaders in her local church. Mickey and her husband Reed live in Spring Hill, TN with her 7 year old stepson, Landon, and a crazy Wheaten Terrier named Dexter.