I have no idea who this is speaking to of course, but maybe you do. Truthfully, I acknowledged some time ago that I am now the older woman, at least to some women! Today’s guest blogger is Pam Gibbs and I don’t know about you, but this speaks to me and my availability and investment in the next generation. Perhaps it will speak to you as well, and to the other women in your church.
Dear {older} women:
I speak for myself but my plea echoes the thoughts of others my {age}:
We need you.
My mom passed away eight years ago this week, and her absence has left a void that can never be filled. But her absence can be lessened by other women being willing to pour into my life. And I think my female contemporaries would say the same thing, even if they still have a relationship (close or not) with their own moms.
Why do we need you? Because we are unsure as moms ourselves. Just like you, we don’t have a manual for how to raise our children. You have what we lack—experience. Wisdom gained from the added years.
We need you because being a godly woman in an ungodly world is even harder than ever, and we’re not sure what that looks like. Culture is constantly in our face, telling us what we’re supposed look like, what corporate ladder we’re supposed to be climbing, what accolades to achieve, what fame to seek (even if it’s just on Facebook or Pinterest), what trendy pursuit to chase. And nobody else is speaking loud enough for us to hear anything else.
Please, speak up. Take us out for coffee. Let us ask you questions. Listen to our hearts, because they are burdened and confused and in need of your shaping, even though we’re no longer children. We are still eager to learn. It just takes a while for our walls to come down because we’ve spent a lot of time constructing them so that others won’t see the mess of our lives.
Please don’t think that we have it all together. We don’t. Please don’t assume that our overbooked schedules and frenzied appearance means we are confident, under control, or at peace. Often, our frenetic lifestyle just mirrors the unsettled state of our souls.
Please don’t check out on us. Don’t think you don’t have anything to offer, because you do. We need your encouragement. Your wisdom. Your advice. Your example. Your guidance. Your humor. Your perspective.
We are waiting for you to make the first move, because asking you upfront for help seems intrusive. Unspiritual. Awkward. Demanding. But if you’d just ask us out to lunch and open the door, we’d rush in and drink deeply from the well of intergenerational friendship —for we are parched.
Where are you, [older] women? We need you.
Pam Gibbs serves on staff at Bellevue Baptist Church in Nashville, TN. She is also a freelance speaker, author, and editor, but her favorite title is “mom” (on most days!). You can check out her website at www.pamgibbs.org.