It’s officially time for us to start decking the halls, singing carols, and baking cookies! But at the same time, the holidays are hard for many homes as family members are not seated around the dinner table but instead are deployed and serving our country many, many miles away.
I had no idea what families experienced during deployment until a few years ago when my brother-in-law was deployed overseas for almost a year. It was eye-opening to get the smallest, peripheral glimpse of what so many families experience every day. There is so much that those being deployed and those staying back home sacrifice so that we can live, worship, and speak freely in the United States, and honestly, I was completely ignorant of this until that season.
I’m only the sister-in-law of someone serving our country, and my sister has more strength than anyone I’ve ever met, so I am no expert here. But there are a few things that hopefully helped my sister stay encouraged and pass the time until he returned, and maybe these will help other families too. Here are some ways you can encourage those around you in the middle of deployment!
- Bring them a meal. With one family member deployed, the family members still at home have a lot more on their plates: not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, too. Lend a hand by offering to bring them dinner one night or breakfast one morning to make their loads lighter. It doesn’t have to be a 5-star gourmet meal. Even delivering pizzas, a salad, and some dessert is so helpful.
- Reach out to them on certain dates. The sacrificial nature of military deployment means that the one serving will miss special celebrations at home. Christmas is coming up, and that’s a prime opportunity to send a message, but so are birthdays and anniversaries. Let the stateside family members know you’re thinking of them, especially on those days. It will make them feel so much less alone on days and weeks that can feel especially lonely.
- Encourage them to find hobbies. Like I said, my sister has so much strength, and one of the ways she wisely spent her spare time during her husband’s deployment was by picking up a paintbrush. That led to her becoming a full-time artist! While deployment hobbies don’t have to become careers, they are still very healthy distractions and ways to find enjoyment while a loved one is serving. What hobbies could you encourage? Embroidery, calligraphy, baking, gardening, or something else? Offer to come learn with them, too.
- Thank them for their sacrifice. Serving in the military is not only a huge sacrifice for those in the service, but also for the families they have to leave behind. If you can write letters to the one deployed, do so: and thank him or her for serving our country and protecting our freedoms. But don’t forget to thank the families at home, too. Even a quick “thank you for all that you’re sacrificing in this season” can go a long way and really help them feel seen in a season that’s not easy. I wish I had done this more!
- Check on them. A lot of times, it’s easier and socially safer to ignore a hard topic than to bring it up. However, even a simple “How are you?” can make a family member of someone deployed feel so much more seen amidst a really hard and really lonely season.
- Pray for them. Put a reminder in your phone or place a sticky note on your mirror so you can remember to pray for all of the members of this family. Pray for safety during deployment, strength for those left at home, and for God to feel so near to each of them during this difficult season. And if you make sure to check in (tip number 5), you’ll be aware of specific ways you can lift up their needs to the Lord.
If you have family serving in the military, thank you. Or if you are just looking for ways to support a family amidst deployment, thank you too. Whether you offer to drop off a meal, send a text on their anniversary, or pray for them, your efforts will mean far more than you know. This holiday season, may we all be reminded to look around, notice the needs of others, and be living examples of the hope that the coming of Christ brings—that for believers, the best is always yet to come.
ABOUT OLIVIA THAMES
Olivia Thames is a writer based in Nashville, Tennessee. She loves using words and humor to connect everyday experiences to the hope we have in Jesus. When she doesn’t have a pen in her hand, you can find her laughing with friends and loved ones, eating Mexican food with her husband, attempting to garden, and affirming her pit bull terrier chihuahua, King Curtis. Follow along at @oliviawithapen and oliviathames.com.