In January of this year, I began a new ministry assignment serving once again in a local church. It has been several months of learning new names, new rhythms, and lots of coffee dates getting to know the hearts of women I’m serving. Along with this new role, I’ve continued to write each month for the Leading Well blog series for Lifeway Women, waiting until a new women’s ministry specialist was hired.
The time has come to pass the baton, and I’m so thrilled that Alicia Wong is now serving in the role of women’s ministry specialist for Lifeway. I’ve known Alicia for many years, and she served as a mentor to me during my doctoral process and was on my committee for my doctoral project. She has spoken at You Lead events, at Women’s Forum, and is no stranger to the work of ministry to women.
As I wrap up my time of writing this blog series, I was also making sure I saved copies of all the blogs I’ve written over the past eight years, along with articles I have written for Journey Magazine. I must admit I was surprised to find close to one hundred Journey devotionals and more than one hundred blog entries. I didn’t know I had that many words!
As I combed through my personal archives, I ran across a blog entitled, “What I Wish I Had Known Starting in Women’s Ministry.” It was written six years ago, but the principles I outlined then still seem relevant today. So, as my last blog for this column, let me offer you a few reminders of what’s important as you lead women.
- Women don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. That saying is an old cliché, but there is a powerful leadership truth packed into that lesson. You can have a seminary degree and all the credentials, but unless women know you care about their hurts, struggles, and celebrations, you’ll have a hard time developing trust and building authenticity with those you lead. This happens over time, but a good leader will listen to the needs of others, show compassion, and show tangible concern and care. Start conversations by hearing about their life before giving instruction. Sometimes this means simply showing up when they need you. But remember, compassion isn’t always convenient.
- Plant deeply and persevere through the good times and the bad. In other words, stick with the assignment until the Lord moves you. Over the years, I have tried to ground my life into the lives of others. Some years were easier than others, but because of perseverance, I still feel connected to many relationships. Even though our address has changed a few times, deep roots produce long-lasting fruit. As a leader, consider sticking it out, even during hard times. The results are worth it.
- When starting a ministry to women, always begin with getting women into God’s Word. When a new ministry leader asks me where to begin, I always start with Bible study. Getting women into God’s Word never gets old. When you gather women around a Bible, community blossoms and spiritual growth happens—not because you did it, but because the word of God is living, active, and results in transformed lives.
- The intake of God’s Word is central, but outward focus goes hand in hand. In other words, don’t have a spiritual blockage. Just as blood must flow through your heart and body to keep you alive, there is a flow of intake and outtake where leaders help others go from learning to serving. Create opportunities for women to give of themselves and to see the needs of your community and your world.
- Character is more important than competency. As a young leader, I did everything I could to learn as much as possible. I wanted to be a competent leader. Yet the longer I live, it’s the leaders who have shown godly character that I want to emulate. Not only do I want to represent Christ in the way I live today, but I want to be a leader who finishes well.
- Learn from others. Recognize the mentors and leaders before you. Celebrate their accomplishments. Learn from them and don’t be afraid to ask for their advice. I have learned that asking questions from a seasoned leader is a lot more valuable than reading a book.
- Your success is not based on numbers but on transformed lives. This took years for me to realize because I served in an environment that focused on numbers. Numbers meant success, but when certain leadership changed, I discovered the freedom on focusing on individuals first. I realized events and studies where women only saw the back of heads was not as beneficial as small groups sitting in a circle and sharing life.
- Be ready to give it all away. If you’re beginning a ministry to women, you’ll want to consider women who can join you in the journey. Establish a team but pray for opportunities to invest in the “next” leader. God may move you literally or figuratively, so develop leaders along the way. As a young mom who was teaching high school girls on Sunday mornings and volunteering in Bible study, what impacted me was the encouragement from others who saw leadership potential in my life and gave me opportunities to teach, lead, and even fail. Are you holding on to a position when you need to be giving it away? Seek out younger women who are passionate about reaching women with the gospel and give them opportunities to grow in their leadership.
What a privilege it has been to walk beside many of you in your leadership journey and to see the Lord doing a new thing at Lifeway. I can’t wait to see what the Lord does next!
ABOUT KELLY D. KING
Kelly D. King is the Women’s Minister at Quail Springs Baptist Church in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, and a visiting professor of Christian Ministry at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. She was the former women’s ministry specialist at Lifeway Christian Resources and is the author of Ministry to Women: The Essential Guide for Leading Women in the Local Church. You can contact her at kellydking.org.
